Adding one more...

One more little Baxter is coming our way in February. It will be interesting to see how it changes the family. So far, Garrett is convinced it is a girl and Molly is hoping desperately for a girl. So I am pretty sure a boy would be a disappointment. We won't find that out for 7 more weeks...but I had my one "moment" today hearing the heart beat. I am pretty sure this is always an emotional time for me because I am already hanging by a little strand of a thread from being sick for so long(and the prospect of being sick for so much longer is daunting). But this is my one moment. I have a hard time getting excited for the upcoming birth until I am feeling better, but I love this moment. Hearing that tiny heart beating so fast is beautiful. It is just beautiful. So I will plug along, and pray I can make it to Halloween(when the nausea goes away). Sam has pulled me through three of these already...so I logically know we will make it, it is just hard to see the light at the end of the very dark tunnel. I know it is a blessing to be a mother, and it is a responsibility I don't take lightly. But when Elder Ballard described motherhood as "moments" it put it all into perspective for me. Some moments are so good. Some moments are just plain terrible. Then there is lots of in between time. Today was one of my good moments. And I will hold on to that for as a long as I can. Or at least until someone starts screaming for something that they need. :-)

Hansen

This boy melts me. I mean melts me. His finger suckin, cheek tappin, cuteness just melts me. Sam took them to the mall for an errand he had to run...and put this hat on Hansen. Melted me...so I texted him and begged him to buy it. The funny thing is...is that he takes hats off all the time. I usually have to sneak it back on him when he is focused on something else. But not this hat. He saw Garrett playing with it at home...and as soon as Garrett put it down he walked over and attempted to put it on. I am pretty sure he knows it melts me. I have never had a sweeter toddler. Even when he says "no" he says it as if he's asking a question. I think because he is hoping that I understand him. But then after a couple of "conversations" I tell him that we need to change his diaper, and he will hold my hand and walk up to his room. I mean...melts me.

June

Molly got to go to BYU basketball camp this year...and is going to attend the second on this weekend as well. She had a great time. She is brave. She was young. I can't say she is the most skilled, or even understands the game at all...but she loved it. The best question she asked after the camp was over that cracked me up was, "You mean you can just hold the ball?" This after she explained to me that every time she dribbled these boys would steal it from her. :-) I told her she didn't have to dribble if someone was right by her...she looked at me very surprised. I will say that it warmed my heart a bit when she told me the direction drill(a defensive drill) was her favorite...well and of course Barnacles. :-) Her gym coach was Hailey Hall...great player...great girl. I was grateful Molly got to be with her.

We went up to a picnic with Sam's siblings up in Little Cottonwood canyon. We saw where they chiseled out stone for the temple and read how it took 4 sets of oxen and about 4 days to take 1 stone to the temple building site. Wow. It was a pretty place. The creek was running HIGH...and we stayed far away. Perfect little place for the little people. Afterwards we got slushies and hung out at Pete and Jen's....which pleased Garrett to no end. He always wants to go there so he can dress up in his leopard suit. He doesn't really care that it is skin tight and is for a girl. He jumps around like a leopard and growls away. :-) While typing this, I just heard Hansen wake up. I then heard his curtains fall to the ground and a little "Uh Oh" In his oh so cute voice. :-) Gotta go get him. Love that guy.

May...wow...

May is a busy month...and we only have one kid who is in school...I have a very strong feeling May will be CRAZY in a few years. It started of course with Garrett's birthday and luckily the Great Grandparents were here. We visited Thanksgiving point with them...and this pic is priceless to me. Them with 4 of their 7 great grandkids.
The kids were thinking of ways to make money. So they decided to have a water balloon sale. Other than the money they made from me...it didn't go too well, but they didn't care. Then they proceeded to pop them all.
Molly had a great program with her Kindergarten...and HAD to get a pic with her teacher. She was so excited to wear a dress. She had a great teacher this year, and a great experience. She loves school and is very happy there. It is all we can ask for. We will pray French Immersion goes as smoothly.
Finally we had her dance performance. This dance thing was a little more intense than I initially imagined. They are 6 years old! Come on! But after receiving 6 emails from her teacher on hair and make-up we had Emily help us. :-) We all have our strengths...and this is not one of mine. But I am a great problem solver...aka...finder of other people to help. :-) Thank goodness for Aunt Emily! Molly performed great and just LOVED it. She is not exactly shy. She ate up every bit of it. No one could come that night to her BIG night...and right before we were about to leave, Garrett fell off the barstool on his face and had a possible broken nose, or broken face. Blood everywhere. So as I was trying to prepare her for the fact that her Dad may not be able to come(he ended up making it and Garrett proceeded to whack his face again and got a bloody lip...Sam left a little early), she told me, "It's okay Mom, I understand...but at least Andi will be there." And Andi did show up! With a beautiful bouquet of flowers! And it meant the world to my little girl. Thank goodness for Aunt Andi! She told me on the way home that she would like to do it again. :-) But she is ready to do something else too. I have enjoyed watching her try new things. She is very brave.

Garrett's big Weekend

Our Garrett J is 4! He was SO excited for his birthday, and Molly helped him get really excited by helping him "plan" it for about two weeks. She does this every year for her own birthday, and it stresses me out...and she decided she would stress me out for Garrett's now too. :-) She was also sweet enough to help me get ready. She LOVES parties, and LOVES to get ready for them. She helped me remember things that we had bought for it, she helped take care of Hansen and read him books, and she saved the day by remember to get s'mores stuff...she is a party planner for sure. Heaven help us all when her wedding day arrives.

Garrett got to go to Fathers and Sons. It is held right around his birthday every year. He LOVES camping. He got to sleep on the top bunk, he got to hike with his Dad, and he got to eat marshmallows. It's hard to see a close up on his face...but it is MESSY. He walked in the door holding a bone. Nothing like bringing carcasses home. Love that. But it was worth it when he said, "Mom look! I found a WEAL bone from a deer. It's a wibbon bone!" And yes, it was a rib from a deer, and I am not sure what to do with it. :-)
My kids get to go to a cake website and pick out whatever cake they want me to make. Garrett skipped over the dragon, and the dinosaur, and surprisingly picked the fire log cake(which was good, cause the dragon looked really hard). He loved it...I think Molly might have loved it even more...but I loved making it and it was tasty! I love chocolate cake. Mmmm. This is becoming my favorite hobby...that I do three times a year. :-)
We skipped a LOT of the stuff that Garrett had planned...but I think opening presents made up for it. He got his pool, and his scary stories in the tent, and his "real fire" to roast on. It was a great time for all. We were especially grateful to have so many family members be in town and celebrate with him. It was a great day. Our Garrett is growing up. He has always had a very soft, sensitive side, and it is starting to come out more and more. He is very protective of his sister and gets mad at me anytime me and Molly are disagreeing. He is too helpful with his little brother...but Hansen loves to watch Garrett and try to do stuff he does. He is trying hard to learn to make friends. He loves to fish, ride his bike, and play pretend...anything. I just love him.

Mother's Day

This was a great Mother's Day. Memorable. I got to sleep in...and then I woke up to Molly crying. Sam then informed me that she was throwing up. Nice. Happy Mother's Day. (On a side note, I told someone at church about her, and she said, "That's funny...last Mother's day was the first day I met you. You walked into the mother's lounge and Hansen(1 month old) had pooped out, all over everything. You came in with a smile and said, "Happy Mother's day!" I told her I was glad she reminded me of this so I can look forward with great anticipation to next year) So I went to church(so I could get my tomato, basil, cilantro plant from the Cooks of Cook's nursery), and sat with Garrett. He was great. He was telling the kids in front of us to be reverent and he would give them a piece of his gum he'd bought at the store. It was hilarious. Then before he was supposed to go up and sing with the primary(I got a little worried, bc I had always depended on the fact that Molly would be there with him to coax him into it) So I gave him a little warning that he was about to go up and sing. He looked at me very worried, and then a few seconds later said, "I will sing, 'The Lord Commanded Nephi...'" I told him he was singing mother's day songs. He then looked really worried and said he can't sing those all by himself cuz he doesn't know all the words. I then realized he thought singing in Sacrament meeting meant he had to sing ALONE. :-) I explained that he got to go up there and sing with everyone. And if he was a little nervous, he could wink at me and I would wink back. He stood up there as cute as can be...and winked. Later on, he gave me a little thumbs up. Melted me. I wanted to just squeeze him tight. I was then asked to help with a little thing in primary where they asked the kids questions and we had to guess what they answered..."What is your mom's favorite food?" G said Eggs, I said French toast. "What is your favorite holiday?" G said Halloween, and I said Halloween just cause I knew that is what Garrett would say. Then...they asked, "Would your mom rather read a book or watch tv?" I said Neither, cause Garrett is asleep when I do stuff like that...it's not like I can read or watch tv when they are awake. He responded SO matter of factly when it was his turn, "My mom likes to watch basketball." :-) Hilarious, that got a good laugh...especially from me. I then missed R.S. and came home to the throw up.

Sam got me flowers, aka: No flowers, but a new shirt in a flower vase with my favorite honey dijon chips balanced on top. We then had my mom and dad over and my sister and her fam for dinner. Shrimp scaampi for my mom and watergate cake for my sister. I then opened presents from the kids...signs to stake out in the garden...so cute. An exceptional day that was made even better by a woman in church who talked about gratitude. She didn't talk about being a mom, or anything like it...she spoke about gratitude. This is a woman that has made it through cancer...twice...and she spoke simply and clearly on gratitude. It was truth...and I was grateful to have been there.

Hansen's stitches

Well, Saturday was a great day...almost. Molly had a little dance performance at the mall. She did great! She isn't nervous, just does her thing. She's a smart little one. I asked her what she was going to do, without the teacher in front doing it. She said all matter of fact..."There's this girl who knows it really well, I just watch her if I forget." Pretty cute. But then....this happened...
As my mother in law says..."This kid is stiches waiting to happen." It's true. He falls all the time. Sam was standing right next to him, but he tripped and slammed his head against one of those toy car things at the mall. The cars that Garrett begs me(and strangers passing by) for quarters. I hate them even more now. He fell asleep on the way to the hospital sucking his fingers and moaning in the back. It broke my heart. But that was only the beginning. Everything was great about our ER visit until the doc came in. He poked litocaine in him and got him crying pretty good...but then started stitching. He didn't wait more than a minute. I just figured they had some pretty great numbing stuff....oh no. The first stitch went through and Hansen screamed BLOODY MURDER. It was horrifying. As he continued as if nothing happened. I voiced my concern(in a very nice way...not crazy mom way) about the numbness. He just kept going. That sound coming out of my baby boy's mouth will haunt me forever. By the end, I wanted to grab the hook and put it right in the doc's face. I took Hansen out of there...and this last pic is what he looked like right after. He is fine. Happy. It is moments like these that I remember that this life is "but a small moment." Some of the teeny tiny moments are so heart breaking. But we can only do the best we can. It made me more grateful for those REALLY good people you meet in life.(not the mean ones) Those people that are just kind to complete strangers. Like tonight Garrett went fishing and a complete stranger would hook a fish and then hand the pole to Garrett and say, "Hold my pole, I gotta go get something." So Garrett thought he had caught it. This guy had nothing to gain, and was just kind. I want to be like that.(Not like the ER doc we hope to NEVER meet again).